Read the touching story of the Nigerian youth:
I was 14 years old when my uncle disvirgined me, right in my father’s house, under my parents’nose. But because they (my parents) trusted him and it would be my word against his,I could not tell anyone; and, of course, he warned me that if I told anyone, he would deny it and deal with me.
I am a final year student in one of the federal universities. This incident happened when I was in Senior Secondary School (High School) year 2. I wasn’t really too mature for my age; I was on the small side, but I had developed a woman’s body.
My paternal uncle, my grandmother’s last born, then a youth corps member was posted to serve his fatherland where we were staying then, of course, it was natural for him to stay with us.
He was a good uncle and very friendly with us. I am the last of my parents’three children. My elder ones (both boys) were away in school leaving our housemaid and me in the house.
Initially, my uncle was nice and he was just a normal uncle everyone would wish for.
After about a month or so that he came to stay with us, he started behaving funny towards me. He would touch my bum, and sometimes he would pretend it was a mistake, then, he would touch my breasts.
Then, I really didn’t know how to place his behavior. In my mind, I would wonder if it was a mistake or he was doing it deliberately.
Because I couldn’t really say I was scared to discuss it with anybody, not even with our housemaid then because we were a little close. I made up my mind to avoid him.
I guess I over did it because everybody noticed this. My parents mistook my attitude for pranks and they would scold me whenever he reported me.
On a day, I told my mother that I didn’t like how my uncle used to touch me. I didn’t know what really got into her, but she scolded me not to say such a thing again. She reminded me that the person I spoke about was my daddy’s younger brother. I had no choice, my situation then was between the devil and the deep blue sea.
My parents had to travel to daddy’s hometown for a burial. We were all supposed to go together, but since my uncle said he had something to do, my parents decided that our housemaid and I should stay back at home. I pleaded with them to take me, but I was not lucky. In fact, daddy would have conceded but my mom refused.
It happened the next day. I was sleeping in my room, in the evening which I shared with our housemaid, but it was later that I learned that my uncle had sent her on an errand that kept her away and gave him enough time to perpetrate his evil deed.
I felt a hand on my body. I opened my eyes and saw my uncle trying to force my jeans trousers off. I tried to scream, but he covered my mouth with his palm.
In short, my uncle raped me and deflowered me at 14. He asked me to clean up when he was done with me. He took my underwear and burnt it in my presence. He threatened to kill me if I ever told anyone.
He tried to rape me again several times after that first experience, but I always carried my elder brother’s Boys ’Scout pen knife about and I vowed that I would kill him if he ever got near me again.
I wasn’t too sure if it was my threat or the fact that he was having sex with our 16-year-old house maid that kept him away from me, because he had to leave our house when mummy discovered that our housemaid was pregnant, and she said my uncle was responsible for her pregnancy.
It was then that my mother raised her voice that I had reported him to her before. She stupidly thanked God that my uncle did not touch me.
How wrong? I did not correct her because it was rather too late.
How I wished she had listened to me then! I would have been saved from these private pains. How I wish, mothers, especially, should learn to listen to their children and not shut them down anytime they try to speak with them.
I thought I was the only one in the world, who suffered this type of fate, but I was wrong. We had just resumed into the university, guess you know all these admission stuff.
My friend and I became close because we were the first ones to get into our room. Incidentally, we were admitted to study the same course, so from the very first day we became friends
Her parents were abroad, and her maternal uncle was her guardian. Every weekend he would come around to see her.
Sometimes he would take us out. I became apprehensive because I noticed he was too close to her for comfort, but I could not warn her. More so, I didn’t trust her enough to share my secret with her. And I also thought that, though naive after all, he was her maternal uncle not paternal, so he shouldn’t have such a thought on his mind.
One weekend, she went to stay at her uncle’s place I was supposed to have gone with her, but my eldest brother, who just came back from the US (United States), promised to see me that weekend. So, I stayed back in school.
Surprisingly, my friend came back on Saturday morning as against her planned Sunday evening.
I noticed that she had cried and her uncle was hovering around her like a “father hen”. I couldn’t wait for him to leave before asking what happened. Instead of saying something, she started crying again.
I asked if someone died and she said no. Our other roommates were around, so I couldn’t really press her. When they all left the room, I moved closer; she was sleeping in my bed. I asked her if she was all right, instead of talking, she began to cry again. I pleaded with her to tell me what happened, she then dropped a bomb- shell. “My uncle raped me”, at 18.
He deflowered her. Can you imagine that? A child entrusted to his care? My friend said she was going to kill herself. At this juncture, I told her what happened to me four years earlier.
She was stunned. She stopped crying and said she now understood why I never joined them whenever they discussed the issue of virginity in our room. This issue created a deep bond between us. Since then, we have been inseparable. We are like sisters. I have had cause to follow her on holidays to meet her parents in the UK. She is an only child and her parents took me as theirs and vice-versa.
I wrote these stories with her permission.
My biggest question is, can we really stop sexual harassment from trusted relatives, friends and family members? I really do not think so. From everlasting to everlasting, men will always be men. I am of the opinion that, the responsibility of protecting female children rests more with mothers.
As for me, no uncle or brother would ever come to live in my house. I also will prayerfully take care of my children, especially my daughter(s). It was not a good experience and I don’t wish any of my kids would go through the trauma and nightmare. It is not good. It is very shameful.
The irony about it is that, sometimes you blame yourself. What for? You would wish you had the power to have it otherwise.